Something Funny

On a funnier note, picture this: Airborne Paratrooper on a night-jump into somewhere near the Black Forest. My buddy Allan, shitbird Jerzak, pulls a piece of black hash out of hid pocket and takes a bite, at the same time motioning for me to do the same. I said no way Jose, not me not this time Jerzak!
He was really loud and I didn’t want him to be noticed and get in trouble, so I motioned for him to send it my way, to please my good buddy Jerzak I took a little nibble, he was watching and motioned to take a bite like he had. So I took a bite. Oh shit, I to this day wish I hadn’t. And then again It was pretty funny what happened. I didn’t know that we were going to get more stoned as time went by. And trouble began in the aircraft with me not being able to stand up. I was struggling, giving it my all, and I couldn’t stand, the stand up hook up command has already been given, and I cant’ get up! I looked up at my friends who were laughing at me, they pointed to my reserve, I looked down to see that I had not released my safety belt, it was over my reserve and couldn’t feel it. I felt pretty dumb ass. After getting to my feet, I hooked my gear up wrong, had to fix that, and out the door we went. Landed in a wheat field and all my suspension lines were tangled in the wheat, I’m getting more stoned and am cussing Jerzak. After getting my shute packed up, I’m looking for the light we were supposed to see on the way down. I didn’t see any light, the only person I saw, I asked if he saw a light? He said the only light he saw was that way. So I found the light he was talking about, it was the light to show the aircraft the beginning of the drop zone. I had to turn around and return to where I began, by this time I am thoroughly pissed off. I finally see the light I was looking for and found the rest of my comrades, they were about to jump all over my ass for making them wait for me. Something about my demeanor suddenly shut them all up! They were looking into the eyes of a very pissed off individual, and I continued to get more stoned. Jerzak was behind me when we took off, keep in mind we are entering the Black Forest. They call it black, because the canopy of the trees are so thick it lets very little light through, so you must keep your eyes on the little white strip on the back of the helmet on the guy in front of you. Every time we stopped Jerzak would walk into me and we would both fall down. This happened about four times, the first couple of times it was funny, after the third and fourth time it wasn’t so funny anymore. So I give Jerzak a ration of shit, and say from now on you will be in front of me, we are a changing places. So what happens the first time we stop, I walk into Jerzak and we both fall down. We were pathetic. We continued walking into the next morning wondering when this shit was going to let up, It just kept getting stronger, and stronger. Or we was just getting weaker, and weaker, or both. We had a break that lasted hours, don’t know why so long. Perhaps our sergeant knew we needed a break. I never ate hash again. Live and learn.